Mormon Brainwashing Techniques

The item of my predecessors' demise was a post about how Mormons, but especially LDS missionaries, are institutionally controlled. While I don't recall them using the term "brainwashing" specifically (they preferred psychobabble) it was the same concept. And as explained earlier, rather than have their weak arguments eviscerated in a public internet forum for all the world to see, they cut the cord and ran.

I'm sure they thought they were being novel, but this is nothing we haven't heard before.

When I was a missionary myself, people told me that I was brainwashed --and I am not exaggerating here-- about 5 billion times a day. In fact, I recall reading an anti-Mormon leaflet on the matter. It explained how the church brainwashes members during our monthly fasting and testimony meeting. Apparently, when you're hungry, your subconscious says to your conscious, "Conscious, hurry up and believe what the people at the pulpit are saying so we can go home and eat!"

Maybe it makes sense to you, but to me that sounds like 100% USDA-choice horse crap. (In fact, I wish it were that easy, because then I could stop taking girls out to dinner, and instead take them for a long walk in the sun while explaining how ridiculously good-looking I am). (NOTE TO SELF: Try this).

The real reason people call us brainwashed is because they suck, and they know it. So rather than giving up their smoking, drinking, heroin, lying, idol worship, cheating, stealing, gambling, sleeping-in on Sunday mornings, canned goods to the poor, etc. etc. they just say, "Oh, no one does all those things in and of their own volition, they must be brainwashed. I, on the other hand, think for myself and am in complete control of my life. Do you have a light? I'm dying for a cigarette..." It boils down to name-calling.

To you I say: whatever helps you sleep-in better on Sunday mornings.